There are so many to choose from … so many that had photographs … so many that got video taped … but in the end it’s a simple story that does it for me.
The Reverend Al got some big plush teddy bears. Cut open the seam on the back, gutted the stuffing. Replaced it with cement. Sewed the bears back up, and smuggled them into Toys R Us at Christmas. He and Sneery the Evil Clown made tags: Cement Cuddlers. Their UPC bar code came up as a Vienna Sausage. The reverse side of the tag included the following verse:
“Unfortunate child, do not mistake me for a living thing, nor seek in me the warmth denied you by your parents. For beneath my plush surface lies a hardness as impervious and unforgiving as this World’s own indifference to your mortal struggle. Hold on to me when you are sad, and I will weigh you down, but bear this weight throughout your years, and it will strengthen your limbs and harden your will so that one day no man dare oppose you.” (more…)